acknowledgingautism

  A year on... On this day last year, I received a phone call from a lady who confirmed my diagnosis of autism. I remember the moment so well, I recall how I felt happy and quite annoyed and frustrated all at the same time. Looking back now, I’m surprised at how well I coped in that moment. I was in school and had to keep myself together until I got home – I remember how I spent the rest of the school day thinking about the best way to tell my mum. I think I probably felt quite scared, I didn’t know what this meant for the rest of my life. I do sometimes think that perhaps one of the reasons as to why I felt so ‘connected’ to school was because that’s where I found out who I really was, that’s where I received permission to be me. On this day last year, I would not have thought I’d be where I am now. A lot has changed since that day last November. I’ve learnt so much about myself in the last year. I’ve learnt to be patient, that I am exactly where I need to be. I’ve learnt to tru...

  To the voice on my shoulder You sat on my shoulder and made me feel bad, Every little thing that went wrong you made me get so mad. Made me act in a way that wasn’t like me, Repeatedly told me I was no longer free. It soon became apparent that you meant what you said, Just after two weeks I began to believe everything you read. When I tried to find peace you sat on my shoulder, Throwing words at me that hit like a boulder. Words that pushed me back a step or two, Words that often made me question if it was me talking or you. You made me weak you pushed me down, Made me change, made me frown. You questioned me when I tried to do something good, Leaving me wondering if I was actually capable of what I thought I could. I believed every word you said, I followed the routes and paths you led. You told me I was thick, that I let everyone down, Told me I was pointless and that I had to change my life around. That I had to do this, and I had to do that, Everything right and in your exact...