How my autism diagnosis changed me






How my autism diagnosis changed me.


When I was first diagnosed with autism, I was determined to not let my diagnosis change who I was. People close to me reassured me by saying things like I was still the same person. At the time this did help me accept and come to terms with my diagnosis. However, looking back now I think it is unfair to say to people going through an autism assessment/ diagnosis process, that an autism diagnosis doesn’t change you, that you’re still the same person after you’ve been diagnosed. Of course, it doesn’t change you physically, it’s not something that people can suddenly see - for a lot of individuals with autism, people wouldn’t be able to tell they were autistic. But I don’t think I’d be being honest if I said that my diagnosis hasn’t changed me. In truth it has. It’s allowed me to understand myself a lot better. It’s offered an explanation for the things that I find difficult. It’s made my whole life make sense.

If I hadn’t been diagnosed with autism then I wouldn’t be who I am today, know what I do now, with an enthusiasm in wanting to help others on the spectrum. Being diagnosed has given me an interest in something I never would have come across if it wasn’t for my own diagnosis. My autism diagnosis has changed my passions and interests. If it wasn’t for being diagnosed then I wouldn’t have the passion I do today in wanting to educate others about this topic, so it has changed me. It’s changed my whole outlook on life. It’s changed me as a person because I can now finally understand myself a lot better, I can finally make sense of the things that I once couldn’t.

My autism diagnosis has enabled me to find things out about myself that I would never have been able to find out had I not been diagnosed with autism. These things I’ve been able to find out have changed me. They’ve not only changed me as a person but have also changed my outlook and the way I do and go about things. They’ve made me see that actually I am capable of so much more than I realised, and because of this understanding I’ve been able to push myself out of my comfort zone more and more. Because of my understanding of how autism affects me, I can now find ways around things that I find difficult, whereas before I would just avoid them altogether. For example, before I was diagnosed with autism, I always used to avoid parties and social gatherings because I find social interaction and loud, unexpected noises and behaviour challenging. The uncertainty of how the party or evening might turn out would cause me too much anxiety resulting in me choosing not to go. However, since my diagnosis I’ve been able to understand the reasons as to why if find these types of events difficult and have consequently been able to find solutions to the problems. I’ve been able to attend a party and a social gathering and have genuinely had a good time.

I’m no longer the person who was constantly annoyed and frustrated at herself for not understanding the world and why she felt as if she didn’t fit in. I’m now so much happier and genuinely enjoy life. I no longer go to bed dreading the next day but instead wake up each morning excited about what the new day might bring.

I have changed. I think autism has enabled me to see the goodness in life. Autism has allowed me to grow. My diagnosis has allowed me to deeper understand just how tough life can sometimes be, but even more so it’s allowed me to show myself and those around me just how much I can achieve. It’s made me want to push myself out of my comfort zone more and more so that I can constantly challenge myself.

Autism has been part of my growth; autism is part of who I am. It’s an important part of my life. To say I haven’t changed since I’ve found this hidden part of me, would be a lie. I am the same person, but I’m now so much more aware and understanding of myself and my needs and differences.

Autism is who I am. I don’t really think you could ask anyone, who was at an old enough age to really understand their diagnosis, and for them to say that receiving an autism diagnosis didn’t change them. Maybe I’m wrong – I don’t know. Of course, everyone is different and has their own experiences.

I was once a quiet, shy, sad and confused child who would constantly get frustrated and annoyed for being so different from others. I am now a strong, brave, happy young women who now knows that she’s autistic and this diagnosis changed her life.


 

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